Think About This: What is the one issue you can’t ignore?

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The last couple of days have been overly emotional ones for me. This practice of tolerance and trying to use my words effectively rather then emotionally has gotten away from me. Now, I have never said that I am the most tolerant person in the world, or that I have mastered the art of leaving emotion out of my conversations with others, it is just how I would like to be; because it is more effective than losing your mind on people who disagree with you. I am obviously not there yet.

For me the issue of faith and sexuality is the thing I just can’t keep my mouth shut about, and someday I will tell my story here (not today though). I will say that a friend of mine posted something on Facebook that I found personally offensive  and I sent him a message to let him now how unhappy I was with what he wrote. The message I wrote to him was full of emotion and a touch of anger and I doubt that my message was heard (or even read all the way through). I don’t blame him if he is angry, and I have since apologized but that doesn’t take away what I said in an overly emotional moment.

It is that kind of response I am trying to eliminate from my life, and to try and teach others to eliminate as well. Obviously, when we try to change things about ourselves, we will occasionally fail. The point though is to not give up, to keep trying. I want to be a positive force in this world, and I want my words to have value. I think everyone has that one subject that comes up that they feel so passionately about that they just can’t contain themselves. I do believe that there is a right and wrong way to express those opinions  to try and open another persons eyes to a point of view they may not have seen before – but anger and impulse are not effective ways to do it.

I am a work in progress like every other person on this planet, and the most I can do now is to learn from my mistake and find better ways to express my opinions. “Don’t raise your voice – improve your argument.”

Have you ever sent a message to someone out of pure emotion? How did that go for you? Do you think you could have said it differently to gain a more positive response? What is your ‘hot button’ issue?

 

4 thoughts on “Think About This: What is the one issue you can’t ignore?

  1. I am definitely guilty of this, maybe more so than most. I am a passionate person and I do believe that some things need to be said passionately in order to get a point across.
    I think it all really depends on the subject and the people you are talking to. Some people only understand loud and passionate. I absolutely see your point and agree with the statement that you should improve your argument rather than raise your voice. Sometimes doing both will help and sometimes neither will help.
    People hear what they want to hear no matter how you say it. And peoples’ perception of you very rarely changes based on changes you make about yourself, it changes simply because of the their own perspective.
    It’s really all external power and therefore not within the realm of things you can control or change.
    I think the best thing is to be true to yourself, considerate of others, careful how you present yourself and aware of how your voice and body language makes others feel.
    The bottom line for me is trying to choose and use words carefully; once those words leave your lips they can be forgiven but not necessarily forgotten.

  2. Thank you for your comment Stephanie. I do agree that passion is important, but I feel that we can be passionate about something and still be kind, still be rational, and choose our words so that they impact rather than infuriate. No one listens when you are yelling at them – it just becomes noise. I think if you really want to have an impact; especially on emotional or hot button issues, restraint is best. Not silence, just restraint. Sometimes people just don’t give a crap about your opinions and they never will no matter how you approach
    it.

  3. When talking on the internet it is hard to know what will and/or will not offend or upset people. You can be as kind as you want and somebody somewhere is still going to take offense and someone somewhere will be ignorant and get loud.
    I just don’t know that i can ever get behind the ‘restraint’ concept. I have to be true to myself or I end up being upset with myself. I believe in saying what you believe and letting the chips fall where they may. I also believe, mostly from personal experience that there are too many people out there who will take restraint as a weakness and take advantage if they can; you never really know if you are dealing with such a person until after the fact.
    Speaking again from personal experience I personally find that as long as I remain true to myself, despite the consequences, I can walk away knowing that I did what I believe to be right and therefore have no regrets.
    Being true to yourself might not get you a lot of friends (followers) but it will get you the right ones!

  4. I think having no regrets is the key. I tend to regret what I’ve said when it is overly emotional and think about ways I could have said things better. Once I have indulged in my passionate responses though, I think I lose some credibility and that is what I am trying to change. Obviously, I am not going to stop talking, I just need to learn to say things in ways I can be proud of.

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