I actually slept in today!


Normally I post anywhere between 6 and 9am  every morning. The reason for this is because I usually wake up between 4 or 5 and have nothing better to do so that just became my default posting time. I don’t know when I became an early riser. Even when I was in the Army, I did not wake up early easily. My entire teenage years were spent sleeping way past time for school to start . For a while I was convinced if they would just let me go to school at noon I would have fared much better with my early education.

I have slept through earthquakes. I slept through a rocket attack in Afghanistan. My ability to get to sleep and stay asleep is legendary. I can (and will) sleep anywhere. I love sleeping. If sleeping were a skill I would be the master. So I don’t know what happened. I don’t know why my sleep patterns have changed as much as they have over the last couple of years. I know part of it is just the fact that I am getting older and that is part of the growing older deal – naps, and odd sleeping patterns. I love naps. I like naps now more than I like going to bed for the night. I am like a toddler now – if I don’t get my nap everyday I get cranky. I honestly don’t know how I will ever hold down a real job again, unless of course they offer nap-time.

I sleep so deeply that I can’t be held responsible for my actions either while I am sleeping – or when I sleepwalk to the bathroom – or in the first ten to twenty minutes after I wake up. During those times, I am an asshole. I remember one time when I was probably 11 or 12 my grandmother tried to wake me up and she decided for some reason that tickling me was a good idea. I punched her square in the nose. I made my grandmother bleed. Thankfully I didn’t break her nose – but she learned pretty darn quick that tickling me awake is not a fun activity -nor is it a good idea. After that she would wake me from the doorway.

I also don’t nap like normal people. My naps are like an entire nights sleep for some people. If I say, “I am going to go take a nap” that means you will not see or hear from me for the next 2-3 hours (sometimes more). It used to drive Stephanie a little crazy – but I think she now understands after five years that letting me sleep when I want to sleep for as long as my body tells me to sleep is the best way to maintain my positive attitude and slay the asshole dragon. Some days I sleep so long Stephanie actually starts to miss me. Like I’ve gone on vacation without her.

There have been many times when I have thought about volunteering for sleep studies simply because if there is a bed I will fall asleep in it – in minutes. I wonder how much time scientists spend waiting for their subjects to fall asleep and let go enough to enter that deep sleep they want to study. I could save them a lot of time. I also think it would be fascinating to learn about all the stuff I do while I sleep. I have a good time. Even my nightmares are entertaining to me and dreaming is one of my most favorite things in the world simply because it is all so crazy. I wouldn’t have any trouble sleeping with wires and crap attached to me. I would probably just end up dreaming that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is resting peacefully on my head. Study that!

Now there are occasions when I can’t sleep and to me that is more frustrating to me than pretty much anything else in my life. When I can’t fall asleep it is usually because I am having imaginary conversations with people about some perceived injustice or I am trying to come up with the solutions to all of the worlds problems. I mean ALL of them. That’s enough to keep someone awake forever. I will go to bed, lay there thinking about whatever – and if I don’t fall asleep I get pissed off. I will get up out of bed, storm downstairs and just be cranky until my mind stops fighting my body and allows me to go to sleep. People who know me understand not to talk to me during this time.

I am also a bed hog. I admit it. I am not a good partner sleeper. When I was younger anyone in the bed with me was an enemy combatant and those unfortunate people would wake with bruises and stories about how I kicked them or pushed them right off the bed. Thankfully, in my relationship now – Stephanie is also not a good partner sleeper. We have decided that when we have our own house we will have separate beds. Stephanie doesn’t like to cuddle and I don’t like to share. So if you aren’t going to snuggle with your partner, why the hell would you torture each other just the sleep in the same place at the same time? My grandparents slept in separate rooms not just separate beds. They were smart people and married for 53 years when my Grandfather passed away. The secret to a happy marriage? Sleeping separately.  Really – sleeping is an individual sport.

I am also a bed destroyer. I will go to sleep with a nicely made bed and when I wake up it looks like world war three happened while I was sleeping. The top sheet will be on the floor. The blanket will be contorted around my body in ways that have no explanation. I sleep with pillows – lots of them (which kind of goes back to not sleeping well with others); I call it my pillow castle because I fortify myself with pillows. There is no room for another person. I sleep with a pillow under my head, another pillow between my legs (I am a side sleeper and having my knees touch each other makes me cranky), a pillow behind my back, and a pillow to hug. Then there are the extra pillows that offer extra support for any position I may find myself in. Several pillows end up on the floor by the time I wake up. If I am forced to sleep with another person – THEY become my pillow castle and I have yet to sleep with someone who enjoys that.

So anyway – my sleep pattern changes are kind of hard for me to deal with. This waking up before the sun thing is new to me. At least I have this blog that allows me to have something to do while even the dogs sleep normal hours. Even if I go to bed late (for me now “late” is anytime after 10pm) I still wake up at 4 or 5am have a cup of coffee and write things to you good people.  Today though, I slept until almost 7:30am! I feel like I accomplished something. So there is a possibility that this sleeping in today was fluke, but if I manage to start sleeping normal hours again, you may have to start looking for my blogs a few hours later than normal.

Do you have odd sleeping habits? Do you suffer from insomnia? How about sleeping with other people? Have you ever participated in a sleep study? 

3 thoughts on “I actually slept in today!

  1. When I was younger, I would easily fall asleep while riding in the car. Used to drive my ex nuts. Now I fall asleep in my chair while watching TV. I hate it when that happens because then I go to bed and can’t sleep – the reason why I rarely take naps. I sleep about 7 hours on weeknights and try to catch up on weekends if my cats decide it’s OK for me to sleep in.

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