So I missed posting yesterday because I actually left my house and went on an adventure! Well, it wasn’t much of an adventure – I just took an overnight trip to Atlantic City because Stephanie loves me and gave me money to waste on a poker tournament. A small price to pay for sanity – I was having some serious cabin fever coupled with an itch to play poker and talk to strangers. So that resulted in a 24 hour hiatus from the computer and it was needed. Sometimes I just really need to connect with people and have it not be online; so I got my people fix. I didn’t do well in the tournament – I’m a little rusty on the poker skills (a lot rusty) but I had fun playing and I got to take a bath which is also important to my mental health.
I LOVE taking baths – always have. Living in a carpenters house (for the second time in my life) I have learned the truth that a carpenters home is never finished and the unfinished part of our home right now is the master bathroom. The three of us use the teeny bathroom in our basement and that only has a shower. So when I go to AC and get my freebie hotel room, I make sure to take as many baths as humanly possible in the short amount of time I am there (I have taken as many as 4 in less than 24 hours). I REALLY love taking baths and it isn’t to get clean. I just love to sit there and play with bubbles and soak. Love it. So yeah, I had bath time, poker time, and people time and I feel rejuvenated.
I also got to go see my therapist before my little trip. I swear, having a therapist that I trust is simply invaluable. Also, having the awesome therapist that I do – even when I can’t see her consistently; when I do get the opportunity to go see her it is always helpful and she helps me to regain focus and unload some of the emotional burdens I carry with me even if it’s just for a little bit. I haven’t been able to see her in months because of money but when I was there on Wed it was like I have been in her office every week. It’s like talking to an old friend where no matter how long it has been since you last spoke – when you finally do it is like no time has passed at all.
Speaking of old friends – I have slowly been reconnecting with the people who have mattered most in my life. Some of those re-connections have been hard, and some have been easy. I spent a lot of time alienating my ‘old friends’ and part of that was distance and part of that was alcoholism (I used to only call them when I was hammered and upset)… Then there is Facebook which has allowed me to re-connect with people I had written off as lost forever. I have learned that no one is lost forever – not now. Not with technology. It is one of the reasons I love technology so much. I mean really – it’s awesome when you think about it. Not only has it allowed me to re-connect with old friends, it has allowed me to make new ones (like all of you good people that read my blog).
As awesome as technology is, it doesn’t replace an actual handshake, a casual introduction, or from those friends who are closer – a good hug. My little people fix allows me to physically connect with people. I love the handshake, “Whats your name?” conversations and connections that you just can’t get online. In just a few hours I met a man who owns a newspaper in Jersey and we talked about the decline of journalism. I met his daughter who is graduating from journalism school and will not be able to even get a paid gig from her own Dad. I met a kid who turned 21 on Wed and was out celebrating being able to play in a casino. I met a guy who thinks a collection of plastic Disney characters helps his poker game (poker players are a superstitious bunch sometimes). I met a woman who works for the Veterans Hospital here in Philly and we chatted about caring for veterans and how the sequester has hurt the care veterans receive. I had a lengthy conversation with a young girl who shaved half her head and how pissed her Mom is about that. Just a bunch of random conversations, random connections – but each of those random people are now a permanent part of my memories as I am of theirs. We will probably never see each other again – but that isn’t the point really. The point is that for one moment – we were connected by circumstance and location and took advantage of that.
Stephanie and I will be joining our other roommate at his uncles “mountain house” so I will get my nature fix as well – of course I won’t be posting from there either – so there may be a day or two where I skip the blogging because I will be reveling in the fact that I am in the middle of nowhere, riding the quad and working on my marksmanship skills (we like to go shooting up there). So my itch to get away from civilization will be met as well as making our roommate super happy- he LOVES when we go up there with him. Not to mention the sheer happiness our dogs have up there. No leash laws on the mountain. 🙂
I think it’s funny that I both love and loathe civilization. A trip to AC is just as rejuvenating for me as a trip to the mountains. I need both of these things in my life to maintain balance. Complete connection, and complete alienation. In the middle of those two things is the Internet. This blog. My Facebook page(s). I don’t know. I feel a little guilty about “wasting” money we don’t have right now to play poker – but poker wasn’t the entire draw for me – it is just an activity to do while I talk to people. Some people go shopping. Some people do drugs. Some people go camping. Some people go to the casino. The entire purpose for me regardless of how I do it is either to bring people closer to me, or to get as far away as possible. I kind of need both. I crave both.
As frustrated as I am with my life right now – certain activities help me keep perspective. I have a great life. I am broke – but I am rich. I don’t have money, but I do have love and love I think is the greatest thing of all.
What do you do to rejuvenate yourself?