The oppressed Christians

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I have been in a bit of a funk the last couple of weeks. First my back sidelined me, and then I managed to have a rather serious bout of the blues, especially when it came to writing. I guess I had a bit of writers block lumped in with a huge lack of motivation. I think I’m back to business now. Let’s see…

So I keep watching all these poor Christians who are now crying their eyes out because they are being called names like “bigot”, “Hypocrite”, “Closed-minded” etc. You name it, if it is negative Christians have been the victims of the homosexual agenda to discredit their faith and push for worldwide domination and elimination of those who believe in Christ.

It’s all true you know. We gays have been waiting and pushing this agenda for quite some time now. We have been trying to ‘re-educate” Christians and other faiths to abandon their Gods and worship thumpa-thumpa dance music and flavored vodka drinks. We have managed to infiltrate some of the most sacred Christian strongholds like congress and even some churches in order to eradicate the Christian faith one hypocrite at a time. We have even caught some of these Christians engaging in homosexual acts with people in airports and bathrooms and this pleases us.

Some Christians are frightened that we will require them to wear armbands that identifies them as Christians so that we can specifically target our hate at them. That’s true too, only we don’t really need to do that since so many Christians advertise themselves with a dead guy hanging around their neck (or a medieval torture device called a crucifix), they also identify themselves with emblems on their cars, and they have meeting places scattered across the globe that are easily recognized by the amount of gold inside, and the aforementioned crucifix placed predominately at the top of their buildings. So we don’t really need to invest in armbands. It’s a nice thought though.

The Christians keep telling us that their Bible forbids our lifestyle “choice” and they are right, there are a couple of places in that book that mentions us, but for the most part, their Bible only talks about them. We have been trying to get them to see this fact, but they ignore the parts of the Bible that actually apply to them and only focus on the seven verses that focus on us. We can’t force them to read the entire book. We can’t even get them to stop watching Fox news for crying out loud. You can lead a horse to water…

So anyway, the next phase of the homosexual agenda is to destroy the sanctity of marriage. You see Christians believe that marriage is only allowed for people to have babies – I don’t know why they keep getting married since they keep having gay babies. I would think that some church leader somewhere should outlaw all heterosexual acts that could lead to child bearing JUST IN CASE they might make a gay baby. Really, it is all their fault that we exist in the first place. Two gay people didn’t make gay babies – straight people did. Christian parents are always so appalled and hateful to their gay offspring – why oh why would God curse them with such a burden? Maybe they should take a look at the book of Job. Sometimes God just likes to fuck with people to make sure they still love him. That’s why you have a gay baby – God did it. So just learn to accept your gay baby and praise God for the burden (gift) he bestowed upon you.

The next step in the gay agenda is to indoctrinate children in schools. Yes. We want all kids to be gay. We will start in Kindergarten and we will teach children that if they have a Mom and Dad at home – they are going to hell. Only kids with two same sex parents will receive the kingdom of heaven. You know why? Because gay parents actually want their children, unlike all the straight Christian parents who try to scare their kids with hell from birth. They tell their children that they must obey them, and they must love God, and they must hate everyone who doesn’t love God. Well see, we want to change all that. We want people to love one another here because it is the right thing to do – not because some invisible sky wizard who watches you masturbate says that you have to or you will go to hell. We want to start early with this re-education program and teach kids from the moment they start to socialize with people unlike them, that those people who are different are okay and are just as capable of love and kindness as they are no matter what God they have or what skin color they are – and especially who they may find themselves attracted to later in life. It’s a pretty radical agenda.

The other lesser known part of the gay agenda is to change our currency. The one color scheme is so boring – every other country has pretty colors on their bank notes. We just have boring green. Once our takeover is complete, we will have rainbow money so the whole world will know that we are now a gay nation. “In God We Trust” will be replaced with “Out of Many, One” just like it used to say, only in English so people can understand it. We really just want everyone to get along, and the only way to do that is to eradicate Christianity as we know it today.

Honestly, I have never seen a group of gay radicals decimate entire populations of people, nor have I ever seen gay people attempt to threaten, kill, or segregate others based on beliefs – it really is only the “faithful” that do that sort of nonsense. Those Christians have a pretty maniacal God that promotes all this hate and intolerance. I can’t really blame their God though – I mean, he did at least try to teach people to love one another. Too bad he hasn’t given them an updated version of their book, or had a personal visit with any of them. It’s been so long they forgot the message. Maybe Gods should visit more often than every 2000-3000 years. All humans have very short memories – I mean have you seen our politics? Sheesh – we can’t remember things from one day to the next let alone a couple thousand years! You would think the creator would know this about us.

So there it is. The gay agenda. For the most part we just want people to learn to live and let live, to allow equal rights for everyone regardless of faith, and to teach children tolerance, acceptance and love. We want people to be able to live without fear of persecution because they believe differently. We want those laws in our country to be based on human rights and lawfulness rather than the ideals of an invisible God, and we want our country to reflect the values that most Christians profess but don’t act on. If you feel persecuted because of those ideals, or feel that those ideals should only belong to you and those who follow your brand of fairy tale then you are the problem and we are the solution.

 

7 thoughts on “The oppressed Christians

  1. I laughed extremely hard when I first saw this video. I believe I laughed just as hard again. I enjoyed your post.

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